TITLE: Ideas of a Drunken Mind

AUTHOR: Glover

RATING: NC-17

CATEGORY: established MSR

SPOILERS: None that I know of.

DISCLAIMER: They aren't mine, never have been, never will 
be.  I just brought them out to play at my Momic's birthday 
party.

SUMMARY: Just a little clowning around...

SPECIAL THANKS: Thanks to Aud for the beta. You rock, MamaAud.
Also to Ash for a few ideas, keeping me on track, and helping
with my "blocks".

DEDICATION: This goes out to Momic and Belle for their berfdaes. 
Hope you all likey *g*

ARCHIVE: I'm going to attempt Gossamer and Ephemeral myself...
Anywhere else, I'd be honored, but please let me know so I can 
visit and give thanks.

******

"I can't believe we're going undercover again -- and at a 
carnival of all places!" Scully says as she pours my next shot.

We're not drinkers-ever.   We've just had a rough week.  Well, 
who am I kidding? We always have rough weeks. This time 
we're just going to wind down from it a bit.

Whoo-boy. You can tell we're not drinkers.  We're both on our 
fourth shot. I'm feeling very warm and she's just this side of 
being three sheets to the wind.  When we started, she was fairly 
pissed off about this assignment...now she's laughing about it.

"Well, since we have to do it, we might as well make the best of 
it." I reply to her with a shrug, a little delayed due to 
concentrating on not spilling the rum.

"You know what we should do? You know, just to make it fun." 
She looks at me and grins as I tilt my head back and pour liquid 
fire down my throat.

"What's that?" I ask with a cough after I swallow -- that one 
didn't go down as smoothly.

"We should pick each other's outfits, decide what the other one 
is going to be."  She's still grinning. Oh, my God! She's 
serious. Oh, Scully.  You have no idea the depth of the hole you 
just dug for yourself.

I chuckle and kiss her smiling lips with my own.

*****

I wake up and Mulder is gone.  I get up and make my way to the 
coffeepot, flip the switch for it to brew and then venture to the 
bathroom to find some aspirin -- this day is not going to be 
pretty if I don't take some soon.  I down three with a full glass 
of water and make my way back to the kitchen to pour myself a 
cup of coffee, grabbing my cell phone from the counter while I'm 
there.  I hit Mulder's number on my speed dial and hear a faint 
ringing coming from the hallway outside my door. I press the 
end button on my phone just before I hear a key click in the 
door.

"Good morning, sunshine!" he chirps with a grin as he comes in 
the door.

I groan.
 
He's very chipper considering how much we drank last night.  
Apparently he remembered to drink some water before he went 
to sleep.

"Why so glum, Scully? Today is a good day!" 

I respond by raising an eyebrow and nodding at the 
bag he's carrying.

"Oh, this? Well, since we decided last night that we were going 
to pick each other's assignment for this case, I thought I'd get a 
jump start and pick up outfit this morning."

My eyes immediately shoot up to his, and he snorts as my face 
falls.

Now I remember why I don't drink rum. Rum is bad. Rum is 
not my friend. I get really stupid ideas when I drink rum -- and 
this one may top the list.

"I have decided that you, my love, are going to be...a 
magician's assistant!" he says as he pulls my "costume" out of 
the bag he's carrying.  My outfit, which consists of a little red 
sequined mini-skirt and a matching shirt, which is not much 
more than a bra, glitters in the sunlight that's streaming through 
the windows as I stare at him in shock.

"Are you kidding me?" I gape at him.

"Nope. Think about it, Scully. If this guy is targeting kids, what 
better place to be than on a magician's stage?"  He says it more 
like a statement, rather than a question. He's clearly proud of 
himself. "With this outfit, you'll fit right in."

"Mulder, I understand the importance of this assignment, but I 
refuse to wear that."

Ha. That's that. I turn and walk back into the kitchen to make 
myself another cup of coffee.  Little do I know, he follows me.  
He comes up behind me and places his hands on my waist and 
leans down to whisper in my ear.

"You'll wear it, and you'll like it." He says before licking my 
earlobe. "Betcha I will too..." His voice trails off as he nudges a 
particularly hard part of his anatomy against my ass.

Maybe I will.

*****

I walk past the stage for the third time, and Scully still hasn't 
come out yet. There's  been no action as far as our perp is 
concerned, and I'm itching to see her in this outfit.  She 
wouldn't put it on at the apartment for me.  Maybe I'm just 
itching in my own outfit.  Leave it to Scully to get the perfect 
revenge. 

I, Fox Mulder, am stuck running around this carnival in a clown 
suit.  

I'll never forget the look on her face when she shoved this thing 
in my face and repeated my own words back to me.

"Think about it, Mulder. If this guy is targeting kids, what better 
place to be than in a clown's suit?"

So here I am, big red nose and all, standing and listening to the 
crowd 'ooh' and 'ahh' at this magician who is famous for his 
fire tricks. Wait...listening to the crowd 'ooh' and 'ahh'? 

I stop daydreaming and realize that the show has begun.  
Scully's standing out on the stage, she's doing what's being 
asked of her, and she looks amazing while she's doing it. 

I'm pretty sure the crowd is oohing and ahhing at the magician, 
but Mr. Johnson downstairs is doing some oohing and ahhing 
himself, which means I have to get out of this crowd.

I take notice that Molotov the Magnificent is about to do 
Scully's vanishing trick.

At which point, I get a brilliant idea.

I make my way through the crowd, and slip in the back door of 
the secret room that Scully is about to enter.  

Soon, she slips quickly down through the floor of the stage.  

"You're so beautiful." I whisper to her, so she'll know that I'm 
there and not be startled.

She spins around with her hand to her chest. She was still 
startled, but at least she didn't kick the shit out of me.

I lock the door behind me and push her up against 
the wall.  I put a hand on either side of her head and nip at her 
bottom lip.

"You're so fucking gorgeous." I growl just before I slide my 
tongue between her lips.  She laughs in the kiss, and I pull back.

"What's wrong?" I look at her questioningly as she snickers 
again.

"I'm sorry. It's just funny to me. I'm making out with a 
clown..." She snorts again, and I drop to my knees on the floor 
in front of her. I lean forward to kiss her stomach, but am 
quickly stopped by my big, red schnozz.  I yank it off 
impatiently and return to my oh-so yummy task.

I lift up her little skirt and place an open-mouthed kiss on the 
front of her panties.

"Mulder, no. We don't have time for that!" She argues with me 
as I try to wrestle her panties down her legs. She's squeezing 
her thighs together so that I can't get them down.

"C'mon, Scully. I promise to make you come fast..." I give her 
my best convincing look and my most charming smile.

"No, Mulder! I have to be back out there in ten minutes!" She 
gasps as I continue tugging at the scrap of silk, running my 
tongue over her exposed mons.  Luckily, I know exactly how to 
get her to weaken up enough so that I can get her underwear off.  
I sit up a bit and jab my tongue in her belly button. I get the 
exact response I always get. She laughs, then gasps, then her 
legs go slack. I take that opportunity to yank her panties down 
her legs, and bury my face in her crotch.  She moans loudly as I 
brace her up against the wall with my hand on her stomach.

Shit! I forgot about my makeup!  I pull back a bit and separate 
her folds with my thumbs.  I lick up one side of her sweet 
pussy, then up the other side, cleaning her of her juices. She 
whimpers and looks at her watch, and I remember that I'm on a 
time limit. I flatten my tongue, run it up her very center, and 
begin to lick her rapidly.  I stab at her pretty little clit and she 
jerks away from me, and I chase after her. We play this time 
every time I go down on her. It's fun. It makes me smile.  I 
close my mouth over her clit and give it a good, hard suck.  Fire 
boy chooses that moment to start playing music, and loudly, I 
might add - and it's a damned good thing he does.  Scully 
throws her head back and lets out a wail that could wake the 
dead.  I ride it out with my little screamer, then quickly replace 
her clothing as someone starts to pull on the door, trying to get 
in. I place a quick kiss on her lips, then hide in the corner as 
Scully opens the door to exit.  I hear somebody yell something 
along the lines of "This is your cue!" as she closes the door.

I find a box of tissues and wipe off my ruined make up, then 
slip out the door as quietly as I slipped in. I adjust my suit and 
grin to myself. This didn't turn out bad at all.

I need to give Scully rum more often.