Title: House of Life - Postscript Authors: Ravenwald & Wylfcynne Rating: pg Spoilers: Xenith's House of Life and a tiny one for triangles... blink and you'll miss it. Summary: Mulder's natural reaction. Keywords: MulderAngst, ScullyAngst, MSR, Disclaimer: No, they don't belong to us, but in a better world, they would and they'd have a *lot* more fun! Archive: Gossemer, Exemplary; anyone else, just let us know. Please archive with Xenith's House of Life Feedback: Yes, please, may we have some more? Authors' notes: We ran this by Xenith and have her permission to play in her universe! (We just can't believe she didn't think of it first! ) Mulder sat down at his desk and opened up his e-mail, planning to get it cleared before Scully came in. The first thing he noted was the message from the Director. He opened it and sank back into his chair, stunned, as he read the obituary in the black frame. ===================================== It is with deep regret that the Office of the Director informs the employees of the Federal Bureau of Investigation that one of their number has fallen in the line of duty. Special Agent Special Agent Ian Thomas of the San Francisco Field Office was found murdered on Thursday. Preliminary reports from the Medical Examiners Office indicate that he died from multiple blows from a double-bladed axe. Agent Thomas and his partner, Special Agent Bret Steffansen, had been tasked with investigating the theft of an ancient Egyptian mummy from the Rosicrucian Egyptian Museum in San Jose. Agent Thomas had been reported missing the night before, but the local office had made no significant progress in locating him before the body was found. The mummy has, unaccountably, been returned to the museum, quite undamaged. There are no suspects in the murder at this time; the investigation continues. Condolences may be sent to the San Francisco Field Office. Memorial donations may be made, per Agent Thomas's pre-arranged wishes, to the American Heart Association. Flowers gratefully declined by the family. Funeral arrangements still pending; burial will be in San Francisco. The Director has assured Agent Thomas's family that we, his larger family, all feel his loss as keenly as they do. Agent Thomas was an excellent agent, a credit to the Bureau, and he will be sadly missed. ===================================== Mulder could only stare at it in horror. (*Ian?? Oh, my God... That would have been me. If Skinner hadn't denied the 302, that would have been me...*) He was trembling, staring toward the screen. Vicious images of his own body hacked to pieces lying abandoned on a cracked sidewalk blanketed all other thought. That was how Scully found him when she came into the office ten minutes later. "Mulder? Mulder! What's wrong?" When she received no answer, she placed her hands on his shoulders and spun him away from the desk to face her squarely. "Mulder!" His partner's touch brought him back and he stared up into her eyes. She saw the anguish there. "Mulder, what's wrong?" she asked again, her voice gone gentle, her hands wrapping themselves around his. Wordlessly, he pointed to the screen with a nod of his head. She looked, and her gasp told him that she realized the significance of the obituary at once. "My God, Mulder! You were right! Skinner was right! That would have been you!" She shivered as the thought that she could have lost him permanently sank in. Mulder slumped suddenly, dropping to brace his elbows onto his knees, letting his head droop over them, hands sliding from Scully's grasp. "And instead, Ian's dead." Scully was shocked to hear him fighting back tears. "You knew him?" she whispered, horrified. Mulder nodded, still avoiding looking at her. "We were at Quantico together." He shivered, bringing his hands up to hug himself, desperately seeking some comfort. "Oh, God, Scully...it was supposed to be me...should have been me! That should have been me. Ian had a family, Scully: he was married, he had kids... No one would have missed me like that!" Scully knelt between his legs and slid her arms around him. "I would have... I would have missed you like that." He stared at her, shocked. "Scully, I'm sorry... I didn't mean... I didn't think... " "That's the problem, you never mean anything, you never think about consequences!" she shouted at him. "I think of consequences every damned day!" "Yeah, right!" "I do!" "Then why did you kiss me on New Year's? Weren't you worried about the consequences?" she asked raggedly. "Why do you tease and promise and never make good on any of them? If Skinner had approved that 302, you'd be dead and I'd be the one that would be alone!. I've already lost everything else, Mulder; all I have left is you!" "You've got family... " "Mulder, I haven't seen anyone from my family, except Charlie, since that Christmas in San Francisco and it'll probably be another five years before I see him again. Bill hates you, my mom won't talk to me because I won't make my peace with Bill. I've lost touch with most of my friends since I've been assigned to the X Files. You and this job are the only things I have left, so don't you DARE say YOU have nothing! I've got just as much nothing as you do!" She staggered to her feet and headed for the door. He stood up and followed, catching her and pinning her against the door. He turned the lock. He did not want to be interrupted, no matter where this was going. She struggled in his arms, but his size and strength defeated her. Finally she slumped away from him against the door and was silent. He stared down at her. "Scully, I didn't mean it the way it sounded." "Sure, fine..." she muttered. "Scully, stop it! Ian Thomas had a wife and five kids. How are they going to survive on the less-than-munificent benefits that the FBI pays survivors? That should have been our case. It was an X-File; it should have been our case, and you know it. We've never sloughed off a case like that, before! How can we function if we won't take a case because it's dangerous?? This is crazy! How do you think I feel knowing that a family is without their husband and father because my boss had a dream?" He was standing with his hands on the door on either side of her head, above her shoulders. Now he actually slumped a little, leaning against it, his head down, eyes averted again. She could hear the grief and guilt in his voice, and she bit her lip hard. "Those kids are going to grow up without their dad because of us, Scully. All they'll have of him is the knowledge that he was he was hacked to death! I should have gone out there, anyway--" All her energy suddenly surged. "I don't care about them!" she snapped, raising her fists to pound on his chest. "I care about you! I don't want to lose you!" she told him, tears streaming down her face, punctuating each word with a blow. "I don't care about anyone else: I love YOU!" He froze, an amazed look spreading across his face. "Scully...!" he whispered softly. He took her wrists, to stop her from hitting him any more. She sobbed, and he let go, only to pull her into his arms and cuddle her close. "And you're not even drugged!" She wilted against him. "I love you, and I won't be able to stand it if you run out there without thinking about consequences and get yourself killed! Promise me!" He tucked her head in against his chest and just held her. "I'm sorry, Scully. I just never thought..." "You never think." Her voice was muffled in his shirt. "You just jump in, you never think about what'll happen if there's no bottom. Promise me you'll think about that." She looked up, shaking her hair back off her face. "Promise me, Mulder. I need you to promise me. I need you to be here with me..." He hugged her tightly again. "Why didn't you ever tell me?" "I thought you knew." Afterwords: Okay, we know, no smut... sorry, it just decided it wanted to end there... Xenith? Any ideas? ~~ R&W